Make Me: Sexy Red Salad

So, before you write this off as some healthy schmealthy post, please know that I love food. God, I love food. So when I put a recipe up, especially one for a salad, please know that it means that I’ve eaten at least 3x the recommended serving size and it’s really, really good.

With that being said, occasionally I like to do womanly things and create items that are not only tantalizing to the taste buds, but please to the eyes as well. I’m a designer and artist by nature, so if my food doesn’t look good I have a hard time eating it.

I found a version of this salad online, and was having a really nature-inspired moment  when I decided to make it. I made a few modifications, as I refuse to eat Kale unless I’m dying and it’s the only thing that will save my life.

Here’s what you’ll need:


  • 1 apple (I like Fuji. If you’re a millionaire you can use Honeycrisp.)
  • 1 red onion (mascara alert)
  • 2 vine ripened tomatoes
  • 2 red peppers
  • 1 bunch of your favorite greens (I like romaine because I like the crunch of the romaine spine. A spring mix would also be nice)
  • 2 pinches of chopped cilantro (I put cilantro on everything. This is optional)

Top with your favorite dressing. Usually, I douse things in ranch because I’m a chubb at heart, but tonight I chose a balsamic vinaigrette that I made from scratch. I’m gluten and dairy free, so sometimes it’s just easier to make your own instead of conducting an ingredient search in the grocery store next to the mom with the screaming child. Plus then you can post it on Facebook and everyone will be like, “Wow she makes her own dressing? Who is she, Beyonce?” Yes, yes I am.

Balsamic vinaigrette ingredients:


  • 1/2 cup olive oil
  • 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
  • 1 tsp organic, raw honey
  • 1 tsp Dijon mustard
  • 1 shallot, minced (Mascara alert. Also, if you don’t know how to mince a shallot, don’t worry. I don’t either. I just kind of made up my own technique).
  • 1 garlic clove, minced
  • Salt + Pepp (pepper for you less cool people).


Combine all ingredients in a glass container. Shake until your arms are sore. Put in the fridge to chill. I actually recommend making this first and then letting it chill while you chop up your fresh veggies. I didn’t do that, but now that I’m thinking about it, I definitely should have. 

When all is said and done, pour the dressing on the salad, toss, eat, cry.

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